Cargo Shorts: In Style or Trash Pile?

Mr.+Nighswonger+has+ample+space+for+supplies+in+his+questionably+stylish+cargo+shorts.

Mr. Nighswonger has ample space for supplies in his questionably stylish cargo shorts.

Camryn Watkins, Entertainment Editor

Government teacher, Matthew Nighswonger, has been leading the charge in making sure that cargo shorts become a staple clothing item in everyone’s closet. Cargo shorts are typically referred to as “dad fashion” but Nighswonger is insistent that his fit should be embraced by the mainstream public.

“Cargo shorts are the best thing to wear. I am always ready for any situation. I never  have to pay luggage fees on any airline because when I wear my cargo shorts, I store everything I need in my shorts. I can put a pair of underwear, my toothbrush, deodorant, and an extra shirt in my pockets and I’m all set,” stated Nighswonger proudly.

Mrs. Smith

Cargo shorts have received a bad reputation in the past, and many Shadow Ridge teachers tease Nighswonger about his odd fashion choices but Nighswonger defends his attire and refuses to succumb to the peer pressure inflicted by his peers. Nighswonger actually spends a large part of his prep period encouraging other teachers to embrace the versatility, comfort, and overall good looks of cargo shorts. 

Although his cargo shorts may not adhere to the dress code in the classroom as a teacher, Nighswonger makes sure he has a pair of cargo shorts handy the minute the final bell rings so he can relax in them before he steps out on the football field to coach.

“Since I am a man on the move, I don’t have time to figure out where my keys, wallet, and phone are. With my cargo shorts, I always know that I have those items with me somewhere, in some pocket, and I don’t have to waste time looking around my classroom for my things.”

Mrs. Smith

Nighswonger also mentioned an often overlooked benefit to his cargo shorts.

“Sometimes I just find random odds and ends in my pockets and I have no recollection of how those items were placed in my shorts. I use those things for Christmas gifts for my son. My wife and I never have to Christmas shop for our son anymore!” 

As a flag football coach, the players on his team have a lot to say about Nighswonger’s cargo shorts, many declaring that it is time to retire the shorts.

Senior quarterback, Mikayla Brown says, “He wears them all of the time. He spends the first 10 minutes of practice pulling out random things from all of his pockets. It’s almost as if he is a magician pulling those different colored scarves out of his sleeves.”

Are cargo shorts in style or do they belong in the trash pile?

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Freshman flag football player, Taylor McEvoy, was shocked the first time she attended an intramural practice over the summer.

“Coach Nighswonger huddled us up after practice and he pulled out six Gatorade bottles and two boxes of Pop Tarts out of his pockets for us to share. I had no idea he had all of that in those pockets; they are like never-ending black holes.”

While it seems like the world is changing daily, there is one consistent thing that students can rely on: Mr. Nighswonger’s love of cargo shorts.