Shadow’s Hidden Dungeon

Aryssa Gallardo, Campus Life Editor

Shadow Ridge is an environment for students to both learn and hang out with friends, but little do they know, there is a huge secret being kept right beneath them. This “secret” happens to be a dungeon here at the school. In an exclusive interview with a couple of teachers at Shadow, The Lariat uncovered more and more about this mysterious dungeon. Mr. Buer (English 12 teacher), has revealed some very interesting information.

“I found out about the dungeon while rummaging near the entrance looking for a box of old tests. The previous gatekeeper was sneaking up behind me, but fortunately, I accidentally knocked a heavy box off a shelf, and the poor gatekeeper was crushed. I later found out that I had inherited the dungeon gatekeeper position due to smashing him,” says Buer.

After this interaction, it was clear that Mr. Buer had to step up to the role of gatekeeper.

Each teaching department designed elaborate, deadly traps in order to keep students out of the dungeon (although the math teachers didn’t need to do anything too creative, their room just played a how-to video about geometric proofs).

— Mr. Buer

“I tried to ignore my new calling, but the claw and hair growth was so aggressive that I had no choice but to accept my new role as replacement dungeon keeper,” Buer adds.

The dungeon is located through a locked door, past a long, winding tunnel, and behind some very deadly boxes. Up until this interview with Mr. Buer, students have never heard about it because of the low survival rate. In order to get into the dungeon, a key is needed, which can be obtained by talking to the key master. Unfortunately, the identity of the key master is unknown.

Another teacher, Ms. Easley (English 9 teacher) knows about the secret dungeon. Although she had a different way of finding out about it.

“When I was a student-teacher I volunteered to work all the sporting events because I needed community service hours for my degree. I was new to the school so I was getting lost on the daily. I was supposed to work a game but lost track of time grading papers and was rushing through the school when I took a wrong turn and found the stairway to the basement. I thought it was the door that led to the baseball field, but I was wrong,” says Easley.

She wasn’t supposed to know about the dungeon. The Dungeon Keeper and the custodians are the only ones who have actually confirmed its existence. The dungeon holds confidential information that she can’t disclose, but there might be a basilisk hidden in the depths of the dungeon. It is said that the dungeon is also used to store a very precious gem. She likes to spend her time down there reading and watching old VHS tapes.

“There are so many discarded items from previous years. It is always so quiet and peaceful down there and since the pool was shut down during COVID, I had to find a new place to relax during my prep period,” Easley states.

Ms. Easley stated that she is jealous that she was not given the title of the dungeon gatekeeper, as she found out about it on her own. Because of this, she states, “I mean… I can’t confirm or deny this.. but I think BYUer’s days are numbered as the gatekeeper.”

This is just one of the many secrets The Lariat continues to uncover.