It’s hard to know how to set healthy boundaries in any and every relationship especially when people are first starting to form real relationships in high school. Ways to start setting healthy boundaries are taking time to see what works best for them and being able to communicate when things bother people. If these issues are left alone and not taken care of it will lead to someone feeling disrespected and hurt while the other person is none the wiser.
The Study “How is Life Tree(Ting) You?: Trust, Safety, and Respect- The Importance of Boundaries” by Stanford University supports this saying “Before setting a boundary, take time to reflect on your needs, struggles, and how it’s impacting your relationships.”
This study also mentions what boundaries are saying: physical, intimate, emotional, intellectual, and financial, are all types of boundaries people need to have in day-to-day life; knowing their own limits and what people can give is important. If someone gives out more than they’re receiving they might be left feeling used or as if they need to keep giving to feel appreciated or liked by peers, colleagues, family, or society as a whole. A common topic among people seems to be not letting people move or step over boundaries, knowing what those boundaries are and following them.
Elisha McAfee’s , campus security monitor at Shadow Ridge, states, “Sticking to rules, you have to be consistent and leadership is the number one thing. Know how to treat people when setting those boundaries and congratulate people when they respect them.”
A study from Mayo Clinic also supports this in their article “Map It Out: Setting boundaries for your well being.” They say that having firm boundaries is important because when people have firm boundaries they are less likely to be disrespected and give into pure pressure. This study also says if someone has a plan to disrespect someone’s boundaries they should have a firm plan to say no and if that doesn’t work it may be the best to leave that situation or that person.
Valentino Simpson, a 10th grade photography student at Shadow Ridge High School states,“Be real assertive and tell them what they can and cannot do so your boundaries are clear.”
What Simpson said is also supported by the same study, being firm on boundaries may be hard but someone letting people walk all over them can be even worse. Saying what boundaries are and what people think about them is one thing, although applying them to day-to-day life is another. Sometimes people will disrespect boundaries and at that point they should be made aware of what they are doing. If they still don’t understand, the best course of action is to get out of that situation.
